Light

Grasping for the illusion of control.

Being one who lives alone and doesn't often elect to vent random gripes to my cat, I feel the impact of being on the wait list for a new therapist. Some days I find it useful to talk out the logistics of various low-level concerns that mount atop one another.

The other week I felt unsteady inside upon realizing my building's interior hallways had no power and thus no light. Surely, it’d eventually be fixed. But, code violation aside, the hallway just became a sticking point I could focus on, so I could enjoy the anticipation that a panacea of temporary relief is on its way eventually. The actually destabilizing factors afoot I can't mend so easily require much greater patience.

Seeing my upstairs neighbor the next morning before yoga proved relieving. Talking about the hallway light with someone more inconvenienced by it than I was what I needed. The subsequent yoga class focused on Eagle pose and experimenting with stability, so its supporting messaging met me where I was in a wonderful way.